I’m a Liar and I’m PROUD about it!
Taffany Jones-Davis, Mission High School Intervention and Student Support Coordinator counselor
Earlier this year I had an interaction with a student that truly concerned me. The anger this student displayed with me and other students worried me as well. I made my concerns known to Mr. Zelaya (Dean of the school) that this student needed to be monitored a bit closer as I considered him a ticking bomb. I made it very clear this was a student that I would be unable to work with.
Don’t ask me why but if he was in my vicinity, I would continually correct him if he used inappropriate language or behavior. His response was always extremely rude. I finally heard some of the other guys getting on him, “Man, you tripping” or “Dude, that’s Ms. Davis”. I started to notice that he would acknowledge me with a small head gesture, then hand gesture (respectful one that is), to “Hi”. Never once did I allow him to disrespect me or my space. When his friends came into my office he would stand at the door. Knowing all too well to enter he would have to admit defeat.
Fast forward to this week, I went to his class, which I had been before to do restorative circles with them. Honestly, I didn’t think it had gone so well, so imagine my surprise when the students started to rave about Ms. Safavi’s class to me and
to the principal Eric Guthertz)! I have been back several times to check up on them and this week when I came in unexpectedly, every last student was ON TASK and engaged! I went around the room quietly watching and having a few conversations with students. When I got to this student I whispered in his ear, “You made me a liar.” He, of course gave me a look of surprise and I went on to tell him what my previous thoughts of him were, I then told him “So THANKS! For making me a liar” He beamed with pride and let out a little laugh, then I told him, “now….put away your phone so she knows she has your full attention.” He didn’t say a word, just smiled and put it away.
So, of course, who do I now have the privilege of considering a guest in my office, none other than this very student! I even got a hug today! Imagine that!
I know this is not solely the effort of one but I do know that showing empathy/ sympathy for another never means to simply ALLOW a student to be disrespectful. So always remember, it’s okay to set boundaries along with high expectations. All of our students deserve it. Accountability is all of our responsibility.
Restorative Practices is a new approach being piloted in the SF Unified School District. It’s an alternative approach to deal with some discipline situations, it insures students not only understand but are accountable for their actions. Simply put, if you disrupt, harm, or disrespect an environment you must utilize various strategies to restore that environment. So ask your local school or contact the district office to find out more!
Sincerely,
A very PROUD Liar J